So, I was cruising/trolling Craigs List for any eligible bachelor that had even HALF a micodum of sense when I came across one that appeared promising!
Unfortunately, he has removed his ad, so I cannot copy it, but I will do my best to describe it:
Single, Professional DOCTOR, seeking Asian or Caucasian.
(Note: He was the ONLY one in the past 40 or so ads that had spelled Caucasian correctly)
Seeking attractive woman for intelectual conversation, blah blah blah...
I'm a physician, blah blah blah
I am secure so I dont care about anyone elses' opinion blah blah blah
Okay, a little cocky maybe, but secure, doctor, etc. So, now begins our exchange!
I say:
Hello.
I am not at all offended by your directness; it is actually refreshing. I am not Asian, but I am Caucasian, in relatively good shape (5' 5", 124lbs, size 2), and in a professional position at my place of employment. I find it amusing that you used a car analogy, as I am IN the car business.
I am not sure if your allusion to young and fertile is a allusion to your desire for children or not, but just to alleviate any confusion, I have already produced all of the children I am ever going to. He is almost 11, and wonderful. So, if you are seeking to procreate I would not be the woman for you.
However, if you are looking for a woman who is kind but determined, loving but not a pushover, secure but still wants to be coddled by someone who loves her, self-sufficient but craves security, confident but sensitive then I am the one you should talk to.
Please do not hold it against me that I live on the Easter Shore side of The Bridge! I am only here for the benefit of my son. (His father lives 20 minutes away).
I would say that while not a new vehicle, I would qualify as a Certified Pre-Owned unit!
--
Iva
(Ee-vah)
HE SAYS:
Dear Iva,
Thank you for your response. I am a Professor of Medicine, Pharmacology and Nursing and specialize in the area of drug development for Cancer.
I am in the Bethesda area, and enjoy weight lifting, reading, working out, learning about other cultures and so forth.
I am at work, but I enjoy what I do....
What do you do in your free time? What would you like to do in the future? What would make you happier?
Do yo have any questions?
Joseph
I say:
Hmmm,
Don't think I have ever come across a guy-bot before.
I am glad you enjoy what you do.
Iva
HE SAYS:
A guy bot? I take it you have had bad experiences/
Joseph
I say:
No bad experience. Just disheartened by your illattentiveness to MY
response . Your very terse, unemotional, disassociative set of
questions was very disconcerting. I felt very compartmentalized and
as if you didn't even incorporate my alluded queries into your
response. Sorry, I was looking for a give and take situation, not an
interrogation.
HE SAYS:
I am sorry, but, I also had a friend of mine - another physician- who is a Psychiatrist look at your emails. I concur with his observation that you most likely suffer from Narcissitic personality disorder according to the DSM-IV and are need of a psychiatric evaluation. This said, I will not respond to any emails from you nor answer any as I feel until you seek help, you will be unable to get involved with or be able to maintain a normal relationship.
Good luck,
Joseph
I say: CAN YOU FREAKING BELIVE THIS GUY???
But ow funny is that? I really, really, really wanted to say back to him, "Hmmmm. Sounds like a classic case of 'Takes one to know one' " But I didn't. I was too normal of a response.
So, anyone out there that thinks they may want to date me, make sure you review my full psychiatric evaluation!!!!!!
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