I am way fucked up.
I mean, really fucked up.
Low self-esteem.
Religion.
Anti-pride training. (Not negative feelings about gays and lesbians. The biblical sort of pride; too big for your own britches sort of pride).
Apply liberal doses of mental and emotional desensitivity training and the Monster that is Iva is born.
How does one react to the discovery that: they have devalued themselves to the point that they do not have the ability to believe or comprehend that someone who could be with anyone that they chose, would in fact choose them??? {I have a hard time believeing that someone who could be with anyone of their choosing would, in fact, choose to be with me}. That is a big knock on the head. I feel stupid for allowing myself to feel that way. I am upset with myself for not requiring better.
I think society has trained us to have the opinion that women who require balanced, sensitive and ladylike treatment are self-serving selfish bitches. FAIL!!!! I know there ARE men out there (somewhere) that are sexy, smart, balanced and hot all at the same time. I know, I know, not on the Shore, but they DO exist! Please, humor me. Do not burst the bubble.
No comments:
Post a Comment